For the sake of clarity, I will present the facts according to Torah, though at times they seem inconvenient and maybe even painful; in truth however they come from a loving G-d, and by following them we get what is really best for us.

1. First of all, for someone to be considered Jewish he/she must be born to a Jewish mother, or, if they were not born Jewish they can be converted by a court of three Rabbis according to Halachah (traditional Jewish law).

2. In the case of adoption or in the case of a minor who's parents wish to convert him/her, the law is that the parents can arrange a conversion for the child. (When the child reaches the age of Bar/Bas Mitzvah, there are some instances in which they are given the choice to retract their conversion, but we won't discuss it due to its irrelevance to the subject matter).

3. Now, from the little information you supplied it seems that you never went through a conversion process, so based on the above mentioned laws we would have to say that in order for you to be a Jew you would have to go through the conversion.

4. I would suggest that you talk to an orthodox Rabbi in your area to clarify and to discuss this highly sensitive issue.

Thank you for writing us. I know it must be difficult to try and pursue your interest in Judiasm. I think the best way for you to find what your are looking for is to have your mom help you find a local Chabad Rabbi. If she cant or doesnt want to I think your best option would be to study as much as you can your own using the interent and books from the library.

You can use our website to learn about the holidays and there are many articles under the Torah Study and Parsha section that are full of information. There is also a function where you can search for a local Chabad Rabbi. You may also want to check out Tzivos hashem online, which  is the name of the chabad youth organization.

G-d listens to everyones prayers and if you have faith and ask him to help , I am sure he will send you what you need.

The Rebbe taught that a lasting , successful marriage which is a vessel for G-d's blessing is not necessarily one that starts with romance and fiery attraction. Rather it is built on common interest and partnership between husband and wife in building a home and family on the basis of Torah and Mitzvot. When you find a partner that has the same spiritual interest and goals , and work together to acheive those objectives you will then also create a healthy and lasting loving bond together and a vessel for G-d's blessing.

In light of the above I do not think a third party (parents) can comment on which physical charachteristics are appropriate for a relationship, that is for the couple  to decide for themselves. On the other hand it is very important to make sure that you truly see eye to eye on religeous matters. Your relationship with Hashem and growth in yiddishkeit will be a factor in your entire life. Any differences between a couple  become even more prominenet and difficult when you have children and become concerned about their education and level of observance. Clarifying and agreeing on spiritual priorities is a strongly recommended prerequisite before making the life long decision of Marriage.

I hope this helps you in your dillema.

Rumors have caused so much destruction through out history and continue to do so.

Why, she's as Jewish as Moses! And will merit together with us all the great days of Moshiach. She should wipe away the past and look ahead to a beautiful future. G-d is smiling at her.

About the Rebbe's view on divorcees, well that is kind of a wrong question, for the Rebbe never generalized people - 'he is religious', 'divorcee' etc. instead he looked at the person for what they are - a diamond; a child of G-d. 

Although I am not familiar with the details of your specific story, the question of why G-d makes good people suffer, is as sold as pain itself. And although this question has been discussed, debated and chewed over many a time, it remains unanswered. Yes there are Pesukim and statements of Chazal that shed light and give us a bit of clarity, but on the most part the explanations are to soften the pain, and continue to move on.  

But the question will remain unanswered until the coming of Moshiach. And that is the way it should be. So you ask 'how' to move on? By not searching for answers! Let us not try to "justify" G-d, no! we don't want explanations; we want an end to pain. We are not searching for answers; we are demanding an end to the questions! Hashem: Ad Mosai? Till when?

Dear friend, you must move on because we most bring Moshiach and end the questions. The only way to take away the question is by going forward, by doing all we can to bring a time of no pain and no questions. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, ALL THE MORE OF A REASON TO MOVE ON! Don't stop asking, and don't stop working on the answer.

Judaism never rejected the possibility of a resurrected Messiah. It discusses exactly that possibility in Talmud, Kabbala and later commentaries. The rejection of xtianity is because they claim that yoshke was fully actualized and has already achieved redemption for his followers and will come back to take them off the world at some point. The Rambam writes that we reject xtianity and yoshke as moshiach because he subverted Torah and brought great suffering to the Jewish people, the exact opposite of Moshaich.

Very importantly the Rambam writes that one of the reasons yoshke came to the world was to make everyone familiar with the concept of Moshiach so that when the true moshaich comes the world will be familiar with the concept. It is a major misunderstanding and mistaken over simplification to equate the rejection of yoshke and xtianity with the rejection of a possibly resurrected Moshiach. As I wrote its quite the contrary, there are many valid sources within traditional normative Judaism for a resurrected Moshiach.

But doesn't the Ramban say in his famous debate with the  apostate Pablo that yoshke can't be the messiah because all the prophecies about the messiah haven't happened. Therefore, it seems to me that the Ramban would object to calling the Rebbe the messiah at this point or to calling anybody the messiah before all of the prophecies in the Tanach have been fulfilled. But I see from your web page that the 100+ rabbis say that the Rebbe is the Moshiach according to halacha. This seems to contradict the Ramban. What do you think?

Your question is a good question but only on the surface. This is why it is so crucial to actually study the topic in depth in order not to be confused by bits and pieces of information.

Now to answer your question. There is only one place in Halacha, not midresh or exegesis, but halacha which discusses the identification of Moshiach. This is in the Rambam lawas of kings chap. 11. There is an accepted legal axiom that when no commentator disputes the Rambam it is a universal opinion and so it is in this case. To summarize, the Rambam divides the identification of Moshiach into two phases. The first phase of identification, chezkas Moshiach, at the outset of activities way before completion.  Normally chezkas is translated as 'presumed' but this is a weak translation. The true translation is 'assured'. He bases this identification on the precedent of R' Akiva who titled Bar Kochba as Moshiach even before full completion. Not only this but identifying the leader of the generation as Moshiach is a Jewish normative tradition described by the Halachic authority S'dei Chemed. As I wrote earlier the Ramban's objection was that they claimed  Yoshke was fully actualized and that was impossible because all the prophesies had not been fulfilled etc. But we see clearly in Halacha that to identify Moshiach based on even the outset of his activities is Jewish tradition.

There are many more aspects to our identification of the Rebbe as Moshiach, items which never happened in Jewish history. Such as the Rebbe communicating a prophecy, and he made clear this was a prophecy , that ours is the generation of Moshiach and redemption. That prophecy takes 'assurance' to certainty. There are some that want to say the Rambam excludes a resurrected Moshiach because he discusses an assured Moshiach being killed or not completing his job. This is simply an exegesis which is not born out by close analysis. Most importantly because the Rebbe is just as active and even more in his spiritual army (chabad) then he was before 3 tammuz. The Rebbe communicates directly with thousands through his letters and miracles occur through the Rebbe's blessing with as much frequency as ever. I know this is true because I am a direct recipient. The Rebbe has not been interrupted one iota.

Thank you...where does the Sdei Chemed say: Not only this but identifying the leader of the generation as Moshiach is a Jewish normative tradition described by the Halachic authority S'dei Chemed?

Sdei Chemed P'as Hasodeh M'aseh Elef K'lal 70:

"....and there has to be one in each generation who is fit if that generation is worthy who will be the shliach (moshiach)...and in this manner it was calculated in each generation who it was (the potential moshiach) therefore after the destruction of the bais hamikdosh it was menachem uvda and after his days it was Rabainu hakodosh and thats why in his generation it was said and was known that he was the one...and so it is in every generation there needs to be one who is ready in case the Jewish people merit it , and according to this the students of the arizel wrote on him that he was the potential Moshiach , and all of this is Poshut."

A sincere question certainly deserves a response. This topic may be on the minds of others as well, so hopefully they too will benefit from this response.  This subject is actually quite large but I will attempt to be concise.   

What is a chosid? There are various ways to answer this question. In our case the aspect that is most important is that a chosid, especially a Lubavitcher chosid, is a Jew whose opinions on all major life topics are nullified before his Rebbe. 

Whether it is about moving to a new town, changing jobs, or a life and death medical question. A true chosid follows the Rebbe's directive no matter what any "professional" thinks.

The plain facts are, based on the countless personal stories, and I can testify within my own life as well, that listening to what the Rebbe says literally saves jobs, saves marriages and saves lives. Thousands upon thousands.   

So think about it for a second, a chosid listens to the Rebbe without any question in areas that don't seem like the Rebbe is the foremost expert. Imagine what a chosid does when the Rebbe tells him something in which the Rebbe is most obviously the expert?  

The topic of Moshiach is the Rebbe's superior expertise. He taught about it for more that 40 years. The identification of the Rebbe as Moshiach did not come out of the imagination of chassidim. Just the opposite. It is heard from chassidim who pay close attention to what the Rebbe taught them. 

To be crystal clear. The Rebbe taught us that he is Moshiach and the redemption is at hand, in very clear talks and writings spanning all the years of his leadership. To repeat this is not something chassidim made up. Even more so this is not something any serious chosid can avoid. Again, the evidence is clear in the Rebbe's talks, video's and extensive writings. One must become familiar with these before an objective critique can be made.   

Is this truth "easy"? Are there not theological questions? Of course it’s not easy and of course there are questions. But the bottom line is a Chosid doesn’t rely on his own perspective but submits himself to the Rebbe. 

When faced with difficulty and seemingly uncomfortable subject matter that came from the Rebbe the Chosid doesn’t abandon it chas v'shalom. The chosid figures out why and how the Rebbe is right. And if he can’t figure it out he still moves in the way the Rebbe taught. When one does anything except that, the definition of chosid is lost.   

For all the years of the Rebbe's leadership there were always major detractors of the Rebbe within orthodoxy who fiercely criticized the campaigns to reach out to Jewry. Those detractors today are the biggest proponents of outreach and they even have the chutzpa to claim they initiated it!   

One of the major campaigns the Rebbe initiated in 1991 and 92 when he told us the prophecy of the imminent redemption is that we need to study the topics of Moshiach and redemption in depth. Once you do this you will discover how Moshiach begins his public work even before the redemption fully materializes and at that point he is not recognized by all of Jewry.  

Furthermore in bamidbor rabba , a midresh , it talks of how Moshiach will be revealed and then concealed before he is finally revealed for all of Jewry (this is also discussed by by  Rashi on Daniel and the Chasam Sofer among others). This midresh also states that the people that still believe in him while he is hidden will..."eat shrub roots and desert grass'. What exactly the shrub roots and desert grass mean is another topic, but the point is, this period of concealment is part of very authentic Judaism.  I would advise you to read through the Moshiach sections on the chabadworld website which contain alot of good source material on this subject. 

Hatzlocha Rabba

Dear Mike, 
 
Your question is very important as many of us face a similar challenge with some of our peers. I think its beneficial to divide the topic into two parts, the social and emotional aspects on one side and our personal knowledge and individual behavior on the other 
 
Lets start with personal knowledge as I think that will shed light on the entire subject. All the following may be matter of fact for you but I think it deserves review.  
 
As I am sure you are familiar, The Rebbe taught us the following: 

There is a leader (Nasi) of every generation and the Nasi of the generation that will be redeemed is  Moshiach Tzidkainu. Our generation is the last of Golus and the first of Geula. All tasks have been completed and the only one left is to greet Moshiach Tzidkainu. 

What do these have to do with your question? 
 
The fact that the Rebbe reiterated these points, unambiguously, on countless occasions is the best indication that these are crucial for us to know, focus on and integrate into our lives.  

All of these are also found in the Rebbe’s written sichos, which the Rebbe checked and edited, the strongest signal that these ideas are without a doubt to be disseminated publicly.  

The Rebbe taught that these should be the most primary concepts to us. The Rebbe has asked us to start living with Moshiach and to make the subjects of Moshiach and redemption the gateway for all our other activities. 
 
To crystallize this, it is important to recall that the Rebbe taught us that the midresh in Yalkut Shimoni was fulfilled in the first gulf war. This midrash culminates by saying that at that time (1st gulf war) Moshiach will be revealed and then he will then stand on the roof of the Bais Hamikdosh telling the Jewish people that the time of their redemption has arrived. When the Rebbe explained this midresh the Rebbe added, "Just like it is being announced and has been announced here recently”.  

(The Rebbe also clarified that the midresh uses the term ‘roof of the Bais Hamikdosh’ to hint that this announcement will come from outside of the land of Israel) 
 
The implication of what the Rebbe taught us is unmistakable. Not only will the redemption materialize extremely soon but the Rebbe is in fact Moshiach Tzidkainu.  

I had the merit to be a student in Brooklyn when Yechi was sung in front of the Rebbe in 1993 and 1994, and I can tell you as a witness that the Rebbe vigorously encouraged this singing and the whole 770 sang in unison.  

This is the knowledge the Rebbe gave us and asked us to engrave into our lives and behavior.  

Now we can move to the social and emotional side.  

The Rebbe revealed to us that the quickest and straightest path toward the revelation of Moshiach is to learn about Moshiach and redemption in all traditional Jewish sources, but especially within the Rebbe’s sichos.  

While giving this instruction the Rebbe commented that being on redemptions doorstep can be difficult to internalize, and the best solution is dedicated study of the topic.  

All of the questions you receive from your peers seem to come from this natural difficulty the Rebbe pointed out to us.  

When Moshiach and Geula have real meaning, an individual would never think of saying some of the things you listed like…there’s no purpose in knowing who Moshiach is…its diminishing…the world is still the same…. so if the Rebbe’s Moshiach what then…. We are talking about the one and only Tzaddik our people have been waiting thousands of years for, we are talking about the redemption that will wipe away all the pain of our terrible exile…we are talking about the Rebbe teaching us that he is Moshiach and at any moment we will see the Rebbe’s full revelation and the full Geula! We are talking about the Rebbe asking us to make that the number one item on our personal agendas. We are talking about the Rebbe teaching us the world has in fact changed!! One can only ask all the questions you are getting when Moshiach is a fantasy and the topic is only defined by the controversies that occasionally arise (which are often times very exaggerated).  

We all can fall prey to it from time to time to a certain degree. It is only through a consistent effort in committing ourselves to the Rebbe’s instructions, by studying the Rebbe’s chassidus on this topic that we can persevere.   

There is no doubt in my mind that you should not compromise at all with what you know to be true but rather work to strengthen your own emuna by finding a good chavrusa to study the sichos of the Rebbe on Moshiach and Geula. If that is not feasible then there are a number of translated works that are worth tracking down.  

The Rebbe taught that we are to bring the message of Moshiach and Geula to the world , b’ofen hamiskabel, in a way that they can accept it. Another way the Rebbe taught was that we are to take the lights of chaos and put them in vessels of repair. The lesson is, never compromise the message; but find a way to present it responsibly.  

Avrahom avinu taught us that even if the whole world including one’s father holds a different opinion, stand strong and the truth will persevere. This is surely our final test, and with G-d’s help we will very soon certainly see the revelation of the Rebbe as Moshiach before the entire world and complete unity among the Jewish people.  

I hope this addressed your question.

You ask an important question, and I will try my best to put forth the explanations of the Rabbis in a way that will G-d willing put your wife at ease.

The question of the Mechitza is much larger than a 6 foot partition in a synagogue; it is a question on the Jewish view on women and men. The Mechitza is but a detail in something much larger and deeper.

1. First we must ask the question: Is the attraction between the two genders something positive or negative? The answer depends on who is asked.

Many major religions have taught that any relationship between the two genders is improper or down right disgusting. In the best case scenario it is a looked upon as a matter of necessity, for how any else can there be continuity?

Then you have the secular approach, "everything is okay as long as you don't hurt someone else!" - A total breakdown of barriers and separation. In the extreme cases we find polygamy etc.

Now in both the above views of relationships there are the moderates and the extremists, but in general the extremist and the moderate share the same paradigm, be it "disgusting" or "fun and games".

Judaism (which by now most of us sees it this way) thinks differently however, it sees relationships between the genders as the greatest thing possible but within defined borders and limits. We cannot deny the fact of attraction, it a part of the human psyche. There is nothing wrong with that, but everything has it's time and place. Mingling for the sake of fun is viewed as improper, for what's the point? Why be attracted to anyone besides your spouse if you can choose not to.

Marriage is the first commandment from G-d! It is cherish and loved. But it must be within the right setting. Yes with your spouse, no to everyone else.

True that most mingling doesn't end up in adultery, but why enter the danger zone in the first place?

So in summary: attraction and marriage are holy, but only within defined borders.

Back to the Mechitza:

We're in the synagogue with the intention of connecting to G-d and pray (at least I hope so). So we've got to ask the question: Is sitting in back of a beautiful girl or handsome guy going to help me reach my goal or not?

Duh!

Okay, you want to have a religious experience together with your spouse. Fine, that's what Shabbat meals are for! That's what Chanukah parties are for. Family is family. Community is community. How did Solomon put it? "There is a time and place for everything".

2. Just try this: Watch a bunch of guys hanging out together – how they interact, chide and tease each other. Suddenly a girl enters the room and the whole atmosphere changes in a second.

Now, besides the uneasiness and attraction, there is something else:

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. We each have our own and unique way of communicating with ourselves and with our creator. A Mechitza teaches us to appreciate our differences.

To each their own – We all need a support group in our quest for truth and G-dliness, the women help each other as do the men.

We are different! And we cherish it!


I'll stop here for the meanwhile… If you would like to continue the conversation please feel free to do so.

If you would like to do your own research just type "Mechitza" in your search engine and you'll find a wealth of material.

Much Luck.

Let us start from the beginning.

The question "why?", when presented in the context of Torah and Mitzvahs, has to be put into proportion. Meaning, that in Judaism the "do!" comes before the "Why?", hence the question "why?" is relevant only after the action but not as a prerequisite to the deed.

Marriage, just like any other commandment, be it Kosher, Teffilin or eating Matza on Pesach, is something we do because it is G-D's will.

Yes, sometimes we can appreciate somewhat the (finite) logic behind the commandment, for example "Don't kill" etc. but that is not in any way the reason why we do Mitzvot.

Now let's talk about marriage. Long ago before novels and Hollywood, marriage, at least in the Jewish community, had little to do with 'romance' and "it feels right", and was much more about following G-D's will of creating a family and continuing the great chain beginning from Abraham all the way until the end of days. It may be said that our grandparents followed this Mitzvah with the same simplicity and purity like lighting Shabbat candles and blowing the Shofar on Rosh Hashanah.

Fast forward to today, where marriage has been turned into a noun, i.e. "waiting for the right time", "he's so cool, I want to spend the rest of my... (summer with him, until I meet someone cooler), unfortunately this notion has infiltrated into most societies, and as the statistics (50% divorce) show it has proven itself as a disaster.

So back to you: You don't want to get married? Ah, that's great, now you won't do it for the wrong reason, and will with G-D's help do it because your creator commanded you to do it.

And we all know that He has the best for us in mind.

Feel free to respond with any questions.


You presented some good arguments - except that I as a woman do not have a mitzvah to have children and get married!


Good point.

"Peru urevu" says the Torah.

Note how the Torah uses a multiple expression, meaning that there are two people responsible to grow and multiply, two? Yes two. The 'Ran' one of the first Rishonim, holds that the Mitzvah is on the women as well, for without the woman, man cannot accomplish his responsibility.

Well, I can almost hear you cry: that is chauvinistic, why must I the woman sacrifice my own happiness (pun intended) to help men achieve their goal?

Let me share this thought from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who made a total paradigm shift on this common misconception.

Here is the idea:

We all know the big question, "Why can't a woman go up to the amud and get an aliyah?" The most commonly heard answer is that it's immodest. 

So if that's the case, then why don't we institute an all women shul? And more importantly, why must women sacrifice their potential greatness and elevation which occurs at the Torah reading, all because of a man's lust and immorality?

Comes the Rebbe and turns the pot upside down: The reason why women don't get an aliyah is because they don't need one - they don't need elevation, for they are elevated from within and don't need external boosts!

Think about it: Who raises children? - Men who go to Shul three times a day and spend many hours learning; or women who barely have time to pray and learn and those who have to play 'second fiddle' behind the Mechitza?

THE WOMAN!

And that is because: with all his big boosts, man can never reach the level of spirituality that is natural for t